jUst being me.

Have you sometimes spoke your mind so freely only to regret it when you recollect it on your way home or before you go to bed?

Damn. Some people (mostly leo or sagi traits) tend to speak their minds freely.

There are also some who leave their true personalities at home before they head for work. At work, at play, at home they wear different masks. How amazing is that!

I am a firm believer who thinks you should just be yourself wherever you are. Hmm, or should I say I used to believe. Don’t be mistaken. I have not become a hypocrite. Maybe you will think I have. Truth is I think I have become a smarter communicator, not a hippo.

One very inspiring event that took place during my appraisal with my boss, well, I call her my friend coz we often share our thoughts freely so as to better ourselves, at home or at work.

I am an aggressive person who HAS LEARNT- I repeat, has learnt (due to the constant bullies I meet at work) that if you do not stand up for yourself, nobody will. I speak my mind. I voice my opinions. I take no shit. But i learnt first time lessons hard. Not very smart ey?

But I think a positive point about me is if it is a genuine mistake, I will make an effort to resolve it or apologise. So there I was telling my mentor that I will go upfront to the person I am having a conflict with and resolve it openly. The word I used then was ‘I will resolve it if need be so nobody has to feel awkward at work.’

I work with this belief because I often think everyone thinks like me. I believe honesty goes a long way and frankness is something I appreciate so we don’t waste time at work playing mind games or taking 1 hour just to draft an email (to avoid darting or farting, whatever you call it). My bad.

The belief was overthrown by my mentor. When i said I will not hesitate to resolve conflict, she interrupted me by saying ‘why do you even need to resolve a conflict when you can don’t start one? Somebody who fights all the time at war may not win the battle. It is someone who takes a step back to analyse and wait and is smart enough to make use of a good opportunity to retaliate-is a true winner’

Woah…. Breathtaking. Yes. That statement took my breath away. Thus, I am spreading it to more people.

Takes a conscientious effort. Coz if you often have to watch what you say or type to avoid a conflict, that takes away the ‘natural’ part of you. Then again, if I have to always feel like shit for not thinking before I say or write, I think this effort is worthwhile.

Tapping on an opportunity. This takes skill too. How would you know when is the best time? Ha! You have to listen more than you speak. Watch the situation. Most impt of all, analyse the person you are dealing with. After you go down to fundamentals, you will be better equipped to analyse when is the best time to say or do something.

For eg, you know you’re definitely right and what you’re doing cannot be wrong. But the object you’re dealing with is an egoistic individual who will never want to lose. Then you will ask yourself if its worth trying to argue or reason just to prove this person wrong? You know you will NEVER win becoz of his personality and if you continue to argue, you will still lose, why argue?

I would take a step back and play the game right. Give in. Don’t have to agree. Just act stupid. It’s the safest. Just go ‘I see… and thanks.. I will take note.’ Sometimes, you don’t really need to let everyone know what you’re thinking or doing. Attack the main tumour and the rest of the poison will dispell.

2 eyes to be opened, 2 ears to listen and one mouth so you don’t always have to talk. Alas! I hope I dun ever have to feel the ‘oops I did it again’ crap again and sulk myself to bed. Eeww……

This entry was posted on Monday, December 4th, 2006 at 6:56 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.