Christine- Met THE ONE at the right place but the wrong time
Remember Christine. Not like she taught me a lesson, but from her, I am able to relate to my friends that I really think ‘Timing’ is the most valuable factor that determines if someone is ‘THE ONE’.
She met Mr X at the age of 23. He was 32. He had a marriage but left it with 2 kids. Mr X met Christine, they were a perfect match. Soon, she moved in with him. By the time she was 25, Mr X proposed.You can imagine the love they shared. I often ask myself ‘why would a man leave his marriage and go into another one? Isn’t it as good as suicide one more time? Then again, after a failed marriage, he knows what he needs to make it work this time?’ Oh well, every relationship has its unique features. We can’t apply theory X to all relationships and hope to make it work.
Ok, back to Christine’s story. She was a stewardess then. Asking her to settle down at such a tender age was impossible for her to imagine. They had a mutual understanding that she is happy with the way things are- namely, living together, sharing a life like they are in a marriage, just not tied down by a scroll.
Mr X thought he met THE ONE. Its no wonder. Christine’s the most gentle, kind, sweet looking, soft hearted babe I have ever known. She really fits the adjective- Demure. Her heart is as soft as silk and she aspires to lead a fulfiling life. She needs no luxury, although Mr X could jolly well provide for her WELL and buy her the whole collection of Dior bags. She is someone in the comfort zone but never stopped learning and caring for the poor and needy. She told Mr X she is happy with her life- Carefree and needs no paper to confirm their relationship.
Now that she is 30. When I met her again, she told me she has been going out with another guy. Not like they are dating but they are trying to know each other better. It was pretty surprising coz I always thought she was in THE PERFECT relationship where there was no commitment and it was filled with nothing but understanding.
She is still living with MR X. At 30, she had hoped he will settle down with her. She yearns for a family and a kid of her own. She would think that Mr X will be ready too since he should have matured a lot more by now.
They had an understanding again, though not in writing. Mr X said he has no plans to go into a marriage again and he would understand if she decides to leave him for someone else. With this understanding, and his blessing, she is trying to go out with other potential guys again.
When probed, she said Mr X is a very very nice guy. Its really a pity since its been so long. They are still living together and spending time together. I Wonder if it is painful although she portrayed a look like she truly understands where he is coming from. How painful is it when you are sitting next to someone you wish you can possess but also know you could have lost him forever?
You can meet the right person at the right place but a wrong time. I would think I am at the right place and time now but is it the same for my partner to be?
Having said that, Mr X probably met his first wife at the wrong time. Its with deep regrets that his 2 kids have to go thru a failed family.
That is also why I Told my bestie not to go into a relationship just after he graduates because it may not be the right timing if he does has the intention to settle down with her. If someone really loves you, he can wait. He will wait. Maybe this understanding only exists in my parents’ era? I am not sure of the values people hold these days.
Christine, perhaps things happened for a reason. Whatever it is, for such a great being you are, I pray that God has bigger plans for you. You will be blessed with a husband who loves and adores you. Even if you’re alone at the end of the day, you know Mr X will still be around, less the paper. Even if not, you had lived a life of great experiences and true love.
October 3rd, 2006 at 9:58 am
Bestie Knows Best