jUst being me.

When you act as a bait and let the mosquito sting you…

I walked into my parent’s room. It was brightly lit. My dad was lying straight.. Half naked. Then i asked him why is he lying like a zombie. He said Mama wanna catch a mosquito…so he has to act as a bait.. As soon as the mosquito lands on him, she will smack it. Problem is, mosquitoes are getting smart.. He said it kept flying across and fast they cun catch it! Jeepers..

Then i came bk into my room. Bro suddenly came in and said hi.. I looked at him blankly. He said ‘I din see you the whole day so i tot I could come over and say hi.’ So sweet.

This, is only 1 form of love. Keke…

When i was young, i remembered asking my mum, ”Mummy.. if daddy is always going to China, did it not cross your mind that he may have a mistress?”

You probably wanna smack my head for inducing such a tot in my mum. But her answer had lived with me till now. This was her reply:

”If a man wants to cheat, he will, somehow. What’s the point of questioning and suspecting all the time? My job is to make sure I take good care of the house so he can concentrate on his work, cook his fave food when he is home and it is then up to him if he wants to give up a good wife for a night of temptation. He is already very tired from his trip and the last thing he wants is to come home and be questioned. Even if he had been really obedient, eventually he will seek comfort in some other women due to my unreasonable quesitoning.”

When i grew older, I asked my dad over lunch one day ”Dad, did you nearly give in to temptation before?’

The truth is, there were some women who tried to seduce him. He may be balding but I think men appreciate with age. They have a certain charm as they age and somehow the grey hair is charisma and the receding hair line is wisdom.

This was his reply: ”Why would you give up such a good wife for a moment of fun? Having 1 woman in your life is already quite a lot to handle, why wanna mess it up with 2? If you think in the long run, it is not worth it in any way you try to calculate it. The ‘other’ woman may say she doesn’t expect anything from you today, but you never know. These men who womanize usually don’t have a good ending. Lots of shit to clear after the enjoyment and many people suffer due to his selfish ways. Its really not worth it. I am happy with your mum, for standing by me and taking care of this family all these years.”

My parents are married for 30 years and they are still very loving. They would be the kind of couple who warms your heart when you see them holding hands and strolling very slowly in a park with their hunched backs, walking sticks and 2 heads full of grey streaks.

There are millions of people in this world and if you ask me, who will stop and wonder if you’re happy or sad. There will only be one person who cares if you’ve eaten. Who cares if you’ve recovered from your cough. Who cares if your dreams are met and who will want to see you through every single phase of your life. This someone is there to watch you grow till the end of time. You will only find this someone if he has the same mentality as you. Your interests may differ but the fundamental views and values must be a match.

It takes years to build trust and seconds to destroy it. Its the fundamental value that keeps any relationship together. If you have it, cherish it. Daddy says its really not worth it.

Taxi Drivers. The Meanest people on the road.

A colleague of mine wanted to cut from the 3rd lane to the first and he has only less than 3 metres to do so. He did not signal and just went ahead to cut the lanes. I screamed and said ‘That’s not very nice! If people don’t signal, there is no way I will give way to them.’

His rationale is: If you signal, all the more they will not give way.

Which is true if i think about it. We don’t have many polite drivers in Singapore. If i weren’t a seasoned driver, I will never be able to overtake.

Correct me if I am wrong. Taxi drivers are usually not very nice. They don’t let you overtake and in fact they ACCELERATE when they see your signal lights. When you do manage to cut in, they either HIGH BEAM you or they buzz their horns as if they are an Ambulance. I would use the word ‘impatient’ on them.

They are accident prone too. Always cutting people’s lanes without ample warning. I had near death experiences with their reckless driving.
You curse, you swear, you point your middle finger if you’re an ah beng. I know of some girls who use their middle finger unsparingly becoz the law states that a man pointing his finger is infringing modesty. Its not against the law for a lady to do it. Although she will really look, Ugly. Really ugly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How many of us actually stop and try to understand why these uncles behave this way? I used to get angry too. Over time, I learnt to be more enduring. I learnt how to be empathetic.

They are cooped up in a taxi the whole day. They work possibly 6-7 days a week. They don’t really have a life except cleaning their cars at petrol stations or hanging out with fellow taxi drivers at their fave joint.

For every job, there will surely come a point of decreasing marginal utility. I bet the LDMU for this job comes earlier than a marketing or a banking job. How do they stay motivated?

Having said that, the morale of the story is: We should always learn to look at the other side. Be it in a relationship with your family, loved ones or your colleagues.

But everything is about Balance. You will see this a lot in my blogs I guess because I am a grey person. Its never BLACK or WHITE. Its about reacting to situations. Too much of something is never good. Vitamin C is good but studies showed that too much of it has adverse effects. Too much of a good thing may not be good after all.

You should still practice empathy but sometimes certain decisions have to be reached and the rational part of you takes over. I trust that you will be able to work this out even without going to school.

It takes a lot of conscientious effort to achieve empathy and Balance. You will understand if you want to. You will reason if you slow down, take a deep breath and think about it.

That’s just the other side of one of my 5 cents coin.